While coming back from an official trip a few days back, my driver stopped the car for a cup of tea in one of the small dhabas that spring up like mushrooms on the highways. As soon as I settled down on a chair close to the window and ordered tea, I noticed a small boy of about 8 years old, bubbling with energy running errands, taking orders, serving customers and washing utensils. Everything except handle the cash counter!!! I got interested in the boy for his eyes had a sparkling enthusiasm and blessed with a good wit. I called him, and asked his name.. “Nandu” he replied with a shy smile.
I drew him into a conversation and asked him as to why he was not in school instead working here. What he narrated his sordid tale with sincerity and a voice full of boyish innocence; his was not any different from the plight of those of hundreds of thousands of other children-an abusive father, sick mother, three siblings, poverty stricken family and another brother barely 10 already in work force. He was not aware that just a week later, the entire nation will be celebrating children’s day for millions of children like him. The only difference I found here was the dreams of the child were still not dead. As I gulped the searing hot tea, I asked Nandu, “Would you like to go to school?” Hardly as the question came out, he nodded his head and said,” Sure, I would love to work in offices in offices like you all and drive such cars”, as he pointed to the Ford Ikon we were traveling. At least that exposure of working on highway has given him some dreams which would soon die if not taken care of.
The morose looking fellow at the counter shouted for the boy. Soon got up and made the payments, my eyes searched for him. The sight of the boy secretly waving his hand in goodbye made it a poignant remainder of that encounter as we resumed the journey. Such encounters always make one feel a stab of injustice and guilt.
I called up the head of an institution that works on child labour issues and requested him to take this boy under their wing after giving him the location particulars I wanted to make sure that the child is put up in some hostel and receives education..However, I knew that his family will need a lot of convincing.
Every year children’s day is celebrated on 14th Nov with launching of number of schemes for children, developing state policies, conducting programs, yet 80 millions of children are out on farms, industries, homes and restaurants eking livelihood when they should be learning and playing. We all come across these children of lesser gods almost every day as rag pickers, beggars at traffic signals, domestic helps and tea stalls. Personally, seeing girls with small babies tucked in their arms and begging is a heart wrenching sight. We see these characters everyday but we have become so inured that we have stopped feeling or noticing them at all. On the other hand, we are eager to employ them as domestic helps for they come so cheap and can easily be exploited. This is a trend among so called fashionable and articulate people who espouse equality in conversations
We, as a nation, are becoming more educated and prosperous, and yet we are increasingly becoming an insensitive society. Why does our heart not reach out for these innocent children? We spend money on big parties, jewelry, cloths, garish weddings and our time in unproductive activities but how many of us even mentally feel a sense of obligation to these young kids? How many of us actually even inquire about the well being of children of our own maid servants and try to bring smile on their faces even for a day?
They say child labour is caused by poverty. But isn’t it other way around. I am of the view if poverty has to be eradicated, there has to be a frontal attack on child labour. It’s the result of the exploitation of the weak and vulnerable and it is always the poor section of society who are most venerable to this exploitation. When children begin to work at early age, they remain illiterate, unskilled and unable to demand their rights for equal wages, and better condition for work. Working long hours, they burn themselves, out and their health severely impaired. They earn less, are indebted, and are caught up in the vicious cycle of poverty.
Yet another children’s day goes silently. Despite the number of national projects spending crores of rupees to eradicate child labour and education being a fundamental right, the situation is grim. The government allocates almost 19 percent of GDP in 11th V year plan, the plight of 80 million of children is still in doldrums. The goal to provide all children access to better education, health, and safety continue to be elusive and we continue to see this hard reality around us without being affected.Happy children’s day! Time for us to wake up to the “other India”
Heard this beautiful song sung by Rabbi Shergil a few days back. Although I liked its music but could not understand it fully so I looked for its meaning on the net. Finally I got the lyrics. Its one of the most wonderful songs I have heard in recent times. The song conveys deep and spritual meaning. The lyrics are written by a Sufi Saint, Bulleh Shah. Its english translation will help understand the meaning.
Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun. Na main moman vich maseetan, Na main vich kufar dian reetan, Na main pakan vich paleetan. Na main andar bed kitaban, Na main rehnda phaang sharaban, Na main rehnda mast kharaban. Na main shadi na ghamnaki, Na main vich paleetan pakeen, Na main aaabi na main khaki. Na main aatish na main paun, Bulla ki jana main kaun, Bulla ki jana main kaun, Bulla ki jana main kaun, Bulla ki jana main kaun. Na main arabi na lahori, Na main hindi shehar Nagaori, Na hindu na turk pashauri. Na main bhet mazhab de paya, Na main aadam hawwa jaya, Na koi apna naam dharaya. Avval aakhar aap nu jana, Na koi dooja hor pacchana, Mai ton na koi hor syana. Bulle shah kharha hai kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun, Bulla ki jaana main kaun Na main moosa na pharoah, Na main jagan na vich saun, Na main aatish na main paun, Na main rahnda vich Nadaun, Na main baitthan na vich bhaun, Bulle shah kharha hai kaun Bulla ki jaana main kaun...... Oooooo..... Bulla ki jaana main kaun
English Translation!
Says Bulla, I know not who I am
I am not in the mosque of the believer, Nor in false rites. I am not the pure amongst the impure. Neither Moses nor Pharaoh. Bulla, I know not who I am!
I am not in the vedas or holy books, Not in drug or wine. Not in the drunkards wasted intoxication, Not in wakefulness or sleep. Bulla, I know not who I am!
I am not in sorrow nor in joy, Neither in clean nor unclean. I am not water, I am not earth, I am not fire, I am not air. Bulla, I know not who I am!
I am not from Arabia or Lahore, Nor from India or Nagaur. Neither a hindu or muslim from Peshawar, Nor do I live in Nadaun. Bulla, I know not who I am!
Secrets of religion I have not known
From Adam and Eve I am not born
I am not the name I assume. I am not in stillness, nor on the move.
Finally, I only know myself. I cannot know any other. Who could be wiser than I? who then, stands here? Bulla, I know not who I am!
My most favourite lines are:
Secrets of religion I have not known
From Adam and Eve, I am not born
I am not the name I assume
Not in stillness, nor on the move
Bulla, I know not who I am!
PS. I have posted the video too for those who havent heard the song.. The credit goes to Indigo Iris for sending in tips to post a video on a blog! Thanks Iris!! Cheers!
A few days back, a report published in Times of India Gujarat edition caught my attention. It says that 70 to 80 percent of kidneys donated to save the family members come from women. The irony, however, is that women themselves get no kidneys when they need one. In just one hospital in Ahmedabad, as many as 100 women die every year either because they do not get kidney from their family or are not brought for follow up treatment. “We have only 14 husbands who donate kidneys to their wives against 141 wives who donated kidneys to their husbands” says a doctor from NadiadkidneyHospital. Report also says that 90 percent sons get kidneys donated compared to only 10 percent to their female counterparts.
While studying the women prisoners for my doctoral work, I found that almost 40 percent of women serving life imprisonment in UP and Rajasthan jails were actually coaxed into taking the blame of the murder committed by the male members of the family in some dispute over property or land. Since, right from the child hood women are taught to sacrifice for the honour of their families, they agreed and resigned to their fate. They were told that soon they would be bailed out; however, after few months the family members even stopped visiting them, leaving them crying, depressed, and cursing to their fate. In most of the cases, their husbands got remarried.
The discrimination faced by girl child in access to and control over resources- material, human and intangible resources often lead to their poor self esteem and powerlessness. This takes me back to my early memories when I used to visit my maternal uncle’s family. My inquisitive mind always used to raise questions when I observed a funny practice being adopted by the women of the family during serving the meals, the men used to be served first in best of the cutleries and in the most presentable manner, while the women would only eat after the men finish and that too whatever is left out.
I often come across men saying that their wives do nothing but are house wives. At times when I ask women where they work, they answer would be, “No where, I am just house wife”. This reflects how the unequal gender relations manifest itself in different ways. Since the work of men has monitory benefits, they have access to most of the resources and decision making. Women’s work and women’s contribution to the economy is either undervalued or out rightly dismissed. The way work is defined, not just by society but also by economists, devalues women’s contribution to the survival and maintenance of household and to family occupation. Essentially what I mean is that women’s work is not valued in monitory terms.
During my workshops with rural women, when I would ask them who is supposed to take important decisions in their family and why, the answer would be, “Men” because they earn and are more ‘knowledgeable’. Later when I would ask women to give monitory terms to what they do at home and how much their families would have to pay if they outsource the same task, the exercise often revealed that these women earn more than their husbands and to accomplish their daily tasks they do require much more knowledge and skills since they come across different challenges every day to run their families and home, while men usually do repetitive tasks and blow up most of their earnings in liquor and tobacco.
In rural areas the gender differences in child rearing practices are more visible, as girls have low access to education, health care, and other basic resources compared to boys, while in urban educated families discrimination against girls is also done but in more subtle manner. The declining sex ratio in the age group of 0 to 6 years of population in so called urbanized and educated states of India reveal the fact and does not require any explanation.
One of the most glaring dimensions of gender inequality is women’s lack of control over their own body and sexuality. Starting from the age of marriage to access to contraception, abortion and health care, women’s experience of gender injustice is linked to their inability to decide when and whom they marry, when and how many children they have, access to contraception, reluctance of men to take responsibility of their sexuality, sexual abuse, violence and above all the vulnerability of women to sexually transmitted disease such as HIV AIDS.
The constitution of India not only provides equality to women but also empowers state to take any special measures to neutralize the cumulative social, economic, educational and political disadvantage by the provision of Fundamental rights under the article 14, 15, 15(3), 15 (A) and 16 but it has been proved time and again that the legal provision alone can not change the Indian scenario until and unless the basic mind set is changed.
Despite the rise in education and economic status of India, the unfavorable development indicators towards women continue to bother one’s mind as to how long women would be denied of basic right of existence, food, health care, education, control over their bodies and access to mobility and other resources? How long they would be victims of child abuse, dowry deaths, and would be expected to make sacrifices for the well being of men folks at all the stages of their lives?
Unfortunately when a debate of this kind begins, this becomes an issue of men versus women. I don’t hold men responsible for as they themselves are also part of the same socialization process. I strongly believe, gender stereo types that are prevalent today have emerged out from the patriarchal system and have been the prime cause of formation of most of the societies based on inequalities. Even the mores and rituals across the religions promote gender equity.
In changing scenario even men to some extent are victim of the socialization process.. , If the girls are nurtured right from childhood to learn household chores and be prepared to go to some one else’s house after marriage, in the same way boys also have the pressure to excel, perform and be prepared to shoulder the responsibilities of family. The way women are burdened alone with parental and house hold responsibilities, the same way men are dependent on women for so many things and are also deprived of the bliss of sharing the child rearing. You ask any man living alone which has become a need of the day to stay alone for job or other reasons, you will hear them cribbing about not been able to manage with food and washing cloths. If women are not encouraged to show even constructive anger and assert themselves, men are taught not to cry their heart out even if they want to, else they will be stigmatized as weak or girlish. And the instances are plenty.
In terms of the changes in society that we are going through due to urbanization and globalization, I think a collective effort would only bring change.Change begins from within…from ones own family or from one’s own surrounding, offices… And by we all, I mean, both men and women. The beginning can be done to observe sensitively our own behavior. Let us think..
Don’t we expect our spouses to perform in stereo typical manner or do we give freedom to make them their own choices according to their skills, wishes qualifications and needs?
Don’t we perpetuate discrimination against women even in the most subtle form?
Do we ever create support system for each other and compliment each other?
Have we ever observed that most of the abuses are targeted to women? How many of us restrain ourselves to use them?
Who takes the major decisions in our family?
Don’t we use any gender stereo typical statements like child caring is the job of women or don’t behave like a women or just because she is a woman she is sitting on top position or all boys are cheat. Well friends, there is as much diversity among women as among men.
Have we ever realized that domestic violence is the most severe form of unequal power relations?
Who has the last word in the argument? Haven’t you heard men saying “Kah diya bas kah diya, now don’t speak much”
How many of us rear boys and girls equally. The way girls need to be educated and all of us here do educate them but in the same way boys also need to be taught cooking. How many of us do that?
Women are different in the form of their biological role of motherhood. How many of us are sensitive towards that?
When there is a case of eve teasing or rape, many of us tend to blame women. “Because they were dressed up in that manner or they were going out alone or they themselves invited trouble etc etc so it was bound to happen” The findings of ample number of studies have suggested that there is no statistical correlation between the cloths women wear and the crime against them.
Many of us say that women are biggest enemy of women. Isn’t it because of low self esteem and that’s how we have been taught?
I do not have all the answers but I think we all should start observing ourselves and then slowly bring about changes within ourselves. I never blame men for the subordinate position of women neither I held them responsible. It is the social construct and child rearing practices that are responsible.
I rather believe in the balanced view and unlike the radical feminism, the balanced view on gender equity does not aim to divide men and women and cause conflicts. Rather it brings together issues, relating to men and women that have created unequal relations. It is not even asking to reverse the roles and get men what women don’t want to do or get women be like “MEN” behaving aggressively, smoking and acquiring all those characteristics that we have been hating for centuries, however, women should definitely assert wherever it is needed, they should have access to resources, knowledge, decision making and should not tolerate injustice at the same time they may continue to keep their positive feminine characteristics intact.
Sometime I wonder if I live in a laboratory. I have no absolute way of knowing what effects my conduct or actions will have. To live my life for the outcome is to sentence myself to continuous frustration and to hang over my head the threat that death may at any moment make my having lived a waste. My only sure reward is in my action, not from them. The quality of my reward is in the depth of my response, the central ness of the part of me I act from.
Because the results are unpredictable, no effort of mine is doomed to failure. And even a failure will not take a form I imagine.” It will be interesting to see what happens” is the more realist attitude towards future.
As I look back on my life, one of the most constant and powerful thing I experienced is the desire to become more than I am at the moment. An unwillingness to let my mind remain in the pettiness where it idles, a desire to increase the boundaries of my self- a desire to feel more, learn more, express more, a desire to grow, improve , purify, expend. I used to interpret this inner push as meaning that there is some thing out there that I wanted to do or be or have. And I have spent too much time of my life trying to find it. But now I know that this energy within me is seeking more than the profession, or pleasure, or security, or power, or meaning. It is seeking to be being rather than becoming, it is seeking more of me; or better, it is releasing more of me.
Lord, protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is doubt that makes us grow as it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question.. And in order for this to be possible….
Lord, protect our decisions, because making Decisions is a way of praying. Give us the courage, after our doubts, to be able to choose between one road and the another. May our YES always be a YES and NO always be a NO. Once we have chosen our road, may we never look back nor allow our soul to be eaten away by remorse. And in order for this to be possible….
Lord, protect our actions, because Action is a way of praying. May our daily bread be result of the very best that we carry within us. May we, through work and Action, share the love we receive. And in order for this to be possible….
Lord, protect our dreams, because to Dream is a way of praying. Make sure that, regardless of our age or our circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of hope and perseverance. And in order for this to be possible….
Lord, give us enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is a way of praying. It is what binds us to the Heavens and to Earth, to grown- ups, and to children; it is what tells us that our desires are important and deserve our best efforts, It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing. And in order for this to be possible….
Lord, protect us, because life is the only way we have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat and we continue to transmute wheat into bread. And this is only possible if we have love; therefore, do not leave us in solitude. Always give us Your Company, and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your Glory. Amen.
Being an only child, books and music had always been good friends to me while at home. My first induction with Indian literature started from Bengali writings when I was in 12th standard. The intellectual awakening that emerged in Bengal during colonial period gave rise to movement that questioned existing orthodoxies, particularly with respect to women, marriage, cast system, religion, exploitation based on cast and gender and the wrong practices such as Sati Pratha, devdasi pratha, the dowry system etc. This reflected in the literature written during that time, although I find the same so much relevant even today as it was 300 years back.
I was tremendously influenced by the writings of Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Sharat Chnadra, Isvar Chandra Vidyasagar, Bankim Chandra Chatterjee and most importantly Rabindra Nath Tagore. A few of us friends used to read them regularly and then would engage in hours discussions on various issues. One of our Professors generously helped us out in case of any confusion. Apart from forming my opinion on various social issues, I also identified myself with very strong, self conceited, yet feminine and elegant female charactors of novels such as Srikant, Charitraheen, Shesh Prashna etc. I must say that I am indebted to Bengali Literature and writings from Amrita Pritam for honing my thinking , will talk about it sometime later.
Reasoning in freedom: About Rabindranath Tagore, I read English or Hindi translations of many of his novels, short story and later on Gitanjali. The most fascinating thing that I found in the writings of Tagore was the reasoning in freedom to question certain orthodoxies prevailed in the country. For Tagore it was of the highest importance that people be able to live, and reason in freedom and where there is no exploitation based on any cast, religion and community. His attitude towards politics, culture, nationalism, tradition, modernity and patriotism can be seen in the light of this belief. Nothing expresses this value as clearly as a poem in Gitanjali.
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high; Where knowledge is free; Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by the narrow domestic walls; Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habits; Into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake.
Rabindranath’s qualified support for nationalists movement- and his opposition to the unfreedom of alien rule – came from this commitment. So did his reservation about patriotism, which he argued, can limit to both the freedom to engage ideas from outside narrow domestic walls, and the freedom also to support the cause of people in other countries.
His passion for freedom underlies his opposition to unreasoned traditionalism, which makes one a prisoner of the past. This could be understood from a very interesting story. On one occasion when Mahatma Gandhi visited Tagore in Shanti Niketan, a young woman got him to sign her autograph book. Gandhi wrote “ Never make a promise in the haste. Having once made it, fulfill it at the cost of your life” When Tagore saw this entry, he got very agitated. He wrote in the same book a short poem in Bengali to the effect that no one can be made a ‘prisoner forever with the chain of clay’ He went on to conclude in English, possibly so that Gandhi could read it too, “ Fling away your promise if it found to be wrong” How true..
Tagore always abhorred untouchability and sexual exploitation of women in the name of religion, social conditioning and always protested against it. Although he took pride in the cultural heritage of India, his vast understanding about Indian culture and tradition gave him strength to question certain beliefs and dead traditions that promoted exploitation, divides and separatism and that he questioned with appropriate reasoning and rationalism.
Relationship with God: The idea of direct, joyful and totally fearless relationship with God can be found in the devotional writings of Tagore including the poems in Gitanjali. From India’s diverse religious traditions he drew many ideas, both from ancient texts and from popular poetry. An ambiguity about religious experience is central to many of Tagores’ devotional poems and makes them appeal to readers irrespective of their beliefs; but excessively detailed interpretation can strip away that ambiguity.
The best poem that I find from Gitanjali is the following:
Leave the chanting and singing and telling of beads! Whom dost thou worship in the lonely dark corner of a temple with doors all shut? Open thine eyes and see the God in not before thee! He is there where the tiller is tilling the hard ground and where the path maker is breaking stones. He is with them in sun and in shower, and his garment is covered with dust.
Come out of thy meditations and leave aside thy flowers and incense! What harm is there if thy clothes become tattered and stained? Meet him and stand by him in toil and in sweat of thy brow.
It conveys such a beautiful ex-pression of religious freedom, freedom from rituals and sprituality and has so much depth into it.
Some Hard truths: When i reflect back, i find all these writings still so relevant. Many women are burnt alive for dowry. Sati is practiced in some parts of Rajsthan. The girls are denied of their fundamental right to be born and survive. Innocent people are killed by ritualistic fanaticism. The religious divides have been created, so much so that a Muslim family can not rent a house in Hindu neighborhood and vice versa.
Dalits and adivasis are still exploited with bonded labour and displacement. Young girls are succumbed to religious prostitutions such as devdasis or Joginis in the name of religion at a tender age, where parents give them away ot temples to shy away from the responsibilities of bringing them up and getting them married. Hundreds of thousands of children from lower communities dont have access to basic services due to social exclusion. Women become victim of sexual exploitation in the name of religion or social conditioning where no informed choices are available to them. We accept the status quo so conveniently just by “It happens everywhere” attitude. Don’t we need some sort of a revolution to awaken our sleeping souls?
I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high over vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Besides the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shines And twinkle on the Milky Way, They stretched in never, ending line Along the margin of a bay; Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they Out- did the sparkling waves in glee; A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company, I gazed- and- gazed but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought;
For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.
William Wordsworth
This is one of my favourite poems since school days. It gives sense of tremendous joy in nature and conveys that the life has so much to offer. It’s so beautiful and vast.
Celebrating Children’s Day!
The New Me
Some Thoughts
Happy Independence Day
The prayer of humanity
The True Meaning of Freedom
Daffodils
Before Love Grows Old